oh gosh, i got passionate again....

this is a controversial blogpost. some of you are going to disagree vehemently with it. i got passionate in my writing. some of it is emotional. it is my reply to single dad laughing's post, "Worthless women and the men who make them."

http://www.danoah.com/2010/10/worthless-women-and-men-who-make-them.html

i've been thinking about this post for the past two or three hours and have made some conclusions:

1. we are responsible for what we think of ourselves. one of my favorite lines from the musical "AIDA" is, "you are your own master; if you don't like your fate, CHANGE IT." Yes, society does a PISS POOR job of building us up, but WE ultimately decide what we are and are not going to believe. and OF COURSE the people around us have a massive impact on us, but we also have the responsibility and CHOICE to surround ourselves with people who are good for us. women, there ARE good men out there. FIND THEM. and don't settle for less.

2. this article is about 60% good and excellent and true and noteworthy. but wow, does it patronize women. it says, "women, you aren't strong enough or aren't intelligent enough to decide what goes into your brain or not, so let's see if we can alter your world." NEWSFLASH: the world is NOT going to change. and it's only going to get worse. sure, the men in your life may be different, but porn and the like is only growing at an increasing rate. there will be more and more ads, storefronts, magazines, web sites, etc, and it will still be right in front of you. and although YOUR men may not look or may not comment, others will and you will still hear it. but will you LISTEN to it? i hope like HELL that you do not. i think i need to illustrate this point:

the SAME thing happens with guys. what about abercrombie models? jcrew models? viggo mortensen, johnny depp, brad bitt, george clooney, orlando bloom? Do our girls not stop and stare and drool at them? do you think guys just don't WANT a sixpack and don't want to have lats that can take out small buildings? the fact is that they do want it, but how many men do you know who do have those things or are as hot as those men? about as many women as you know who have an "ideal" bust, chiseled abs, and a super tight butt. but friends, you have to decide who are you and what you want to believe. i have decided that i am what i am and that I LOVE MYSELF. Now, this is not to say that I don’t believe that the vast majority of men are brainless pigs, but the point that I’m trying to illustrate is that things go both ways and women are just as capable as men in developing their own healthy self-image. I was initially impressed with this post, so I posted it on my facebook page. My friend (girl) replied shortly thereafter with this, which got me into this vein of thought:

“Whatever. I think he's a chauvinistic ass-hole who has a HUGE ego to think that men determine what women should think about themselves. Be it for evil OR good. So, if men suddenly become all perfect and not perverted, THEN women will love themselves? Don't flatter yourselves, guys. And women should GROW UP and stop blaming their problems on men. He's certainly right about some things, but the whole thing made me want to gag.”

I think it’s stupid that we are trying to say to women, “here honey, the naughty world is after you again; let’s see if we can pad things around you a little more so we don’t damage your fragile self.” It is just so condescending and patronizing. WOMEN—YOU *CAN* BE STRONG!! YOU HAVE *EVERY* CAPABILITY to be so. So do it. Be strong. Be yourself. And love it, dang it. I know I’ll love you. If only you could hear all the wonderful things people say about you.

Well, frankly, it doesn't matter how many complements people pay you; of course, they’re nice and wonderful and all, but ultimately, if it doesn't come from within yourself, you won't believe it. YOU have to change YOUR thinking and YOUR belief system or your life won’t get better. If the men in your life change, and start paying you complements, things might get a little better, but it likely won’t be lasting. You, yourself, ultimately have to make the change.

Something that helped me (and continues to help me) immeasurably was keeping a daily victory journal. I am not allowed to write anything negative in the journal. I now keep a journal recording God’s hand in my daily life—all the evidences of His involvement in my life. Wow, what a blessing it is for me.

now, i realize there a fair few women (ok, mountains of them) who are in some pretty tough situations. that is truly, absolutely devastating. i read the comments on this post and my heart just breaks and is shredded. honestly, i don't know what to tell you, except this: cast your burden upon the Lord and live your life. be your own person. you really are the master of your fate. yes, make your husband read this post and help him and don't give up on him, but there will be some situations that just won't get any better. gosh, that sounds so pessimistic, but i'm just trying to be realistic. But give your burden to the Lord and let Him take the pain for you. Let Him carry it. You don’t have to. There’s a whole book on this: “The Peacegiver.” I HIGHLY recommend it. Wow, is it good.

Those are my thoughts. I didn’t expect to write so much, but sometimes when I get going, apparently I have a hard time stopping. Feel free to email me your thoughts on this.